A New Response

Yes, I am blogging before 7 am.

This morning my dear husband woke up late. He accidentally set his alarm for pm instead of am- don't you hate that. He has his first day of mental health clinical, so it was potentially a pretty big deal. That's just the background.

The story is my response to what happens. It doesn't happen often, but Alan has been known to wake up late every once in a while. Normally when this happens- I annoyingly say "Alan, you're going to be late" then go back to sleep. This morning, I woke him up and then started praying. Praying for favor for him, that his instructor would have grace. Then, even more amazingly.... I got up to help him get ready, even though I was tired and my alarm had yet to go off. This probably would come naturally to most of you and maybe it's embarrassing to admit that I would lay in bed as my husband struggled to get ready, but it's reality.

I was thinking after he left that I prayer paved the way for a new response. Speaking to God opened my heart. He placed his grace and love in me for my husband, which made it obvious that of course I would help him get ready. May all of my responses be refined by Him.

Hearing God and a chain link fence

So, I posted last about wanting to hear God and be intentional about listening for his voice. I can't say that I've been amazingly faithful at setting aside time to pray everyday, although I have spent more time than usual. And, I can't say that I have received any epiphanies about my life either. But... I have heard God. He has been speaking to me- about my passions, about my lifestyle, about my attitudes. And it's normally been in the small everyday circumstances that I have heard his voice.


On another note... We just bought a bunch of "new" fence from someone who tore down their old wooden privacy fence. It is cedar wood and in decent condition (minus the peeling brown paint on one side- we are hoping a power washer will fix that problems). Needless to say, we were trying to figure out how to get rid of our current chain link fence. So, what else but craigslist? 13 people are begging to take out and remove our chain link fence, cemented posts and all! Yea for the beauty of "FREE." Hopefully pics will be up soon of a new fence!

Ask... receive...

So I'm reading this book with a study group at church.

I decided that I'm going to ask God to speak to me this week. Not just kind of speak, REALLY speak. The transformation, prune you down, change your life, and bring joy kind of speak. I'm scared. But this morning during church God challenged me. He told me that if I asked- He. Would. Speak.

That's what I want. I really want to hear God. I want to be whole and to live in Him. I don't want some religion where I can find comfort from knowing that God loves me. I want to experience his radical spirit and calling everyday. I'm still scared, but I have some comfort knowing that if he initiated this whole thing, he must have good things in store.

Hopefully more in store. The trick: making time to listen.

The new planner

Just an exciting thought:
I bought a new planner yesterday and was filling out birthdays, holidays and other special events. I realized that not only is Al's graduation, my last few clinicals, my trip to Ethiopia, our 25th birthdays (yikes- a quarter of a century old!), and MY GRADUATION are all in the new calendar. Yes, I am still operating on the school system calendar, but never the less, this is going to be a big year. Lots of change. But, it's change I'm ready for (hopefully!) Even though I am back at school, the light is beginning to shine!

Priorities

I'm embarrassed. Our pastor is doing a series on the art of personal prayer. Today he talked some about how one blocker to prayer is when we have selfish priorities. How learning to pray kingdom prayers is one way to battle the selfishness we have. How can the desire for a new, beautiful kitchen occupy my thoughts as much or more as the hunger crisis in Ethiopia? I know that it is partly because I see my kitchen every day and I am bombarded by a society that says I will be happier and more liked if I have a new kitchen.

BUT... I KNOW the TRUTH. Kitchens won't make me happier. I know that the millions of people suffering around the world are so important- to me and more importantly to God. I know that people are needed to stand up and make the difference they can.

So my question is:
How can I focus more on what is truly important?
How can I find a balance between living life here in Aurora in the present and caring for the many hurting people in the world?
When is it appropriate to care about fixing up my kitchen? Is it ever?

I think one answer is what our pastor suggested today at church. Pray for the world more than praying for your own needs. Ask him to help you focus on what really matters. So, I'm going try this strategy. Maybe he will take the kitchen out of my focus and place his kingdom in my view.