I'm embarrassed. Our pastor is doing a series on the art of personal prayer. Today he talked some about how one blocker to prayer is when we have selfish priorities. How learning to pray kingdom prayers is one way to battle the selfishness we have. How can the desire for a new, beautiful kitchen occupy my thoughts as much or more as the hunger crisis in Ethiopia? I know that it is partly because I see my kitchen every day and I am bombarded by a society that says I will be happier and more liked if I have a new kitchen.

BUT... I KNOW the TRUTH. Kitchens won't make me happier. I know that the millions of people suffering around the world are so important- to me and more importantly to God. I know that people are needed to stand up and make the difference they can.

So my question is:
How can I focus more on what is truly important?
How can I find a balance between living life here in Aurora in the present and caring for the many hurting people in the world?
When is it appropriate to care about fixing up my kitchen? Is it ever?

I think one answer is what our pastor suggested today at church. Pray for the world more than praying for your own needs. Ask him to help you focus on what really matters. So, I'm going try this strategy. Maybe he will take the kitchen out of my focus and place his kingdom in my view.


To be home...

Well, after 8 weeks of commuting 4 hours to Alliance, NE... I AM HOME. I have decided that nothing feels as good as your own bed and even loads of laundry look nice against the background of your kitchen. I have had a good past 8 weeks. In some ways it hasn't been nearly as hard as I thought it would be, but in other ways I have struggled with being away from home and my husband. I think that I am on a high point right now with no immediate agenda and freedom to get as much or as little done as I want. Monday will be my reality check, but until then I will bask in being home.


Trip to South Dakota

Well... Al and I went to South Dakota last weekend to see the sites. We made it to Wind Cave National Park, Crazy Horse monument, Mount Rushmore, the Black Hills, and the infamous Carhenge. I was going to post pictures from our trip, but the internet is a little unsteady here in Nebraska. Here is one picture I got to load! The trip was fun and you can go to my facebook site to see other pictures.


Thoughts on being human

So, Sometimes I look back on my actions or thoughts and wonder- what was I thinking? A few days ago was one of those days. I am living in Nebraska right now working on a clinical internship and I currently have two roommates (one is a nursing student and one is a med student). We were sitting and talking and for some reason I found these things coming out of my mouth about what I have done and talking about things I have accomplished. As I walked out the door to go on a run I stopped to ask myself- why? Why did I feel the need to impress two people that I will only know for a few weeks and then will never see again? Why did I feel the need to paint myself in this impressive light? Why do I turn to other people for validation?
I find myself so often looking to Al or to my friends who love me for proof that I am worth something or proof that I am a cool person. When I don't have people constantly adorning me with praise and love- I often feel worthless or useless.
I have value in something greater than opinions or companionship. I have value because I am saved by grace and created for something bigger than myself. I forget this often. I forget my worth is not from me. I have worth because of who possesses me, not what I possess.