Day 96- Illusions

Do you ever look at someone else's life and think,
"they are doing what I thought my life would look like at this point" or
"that should be me. If only x, y, or z wasn't going on, I would be able to do that"?

I thought those things just now. I need to process.

Sometimes I'm disillusioned.

I assume either (a) my plans are better than God's and/or (b) I'm more passionate or better suited for something than someone else, although I've got neither the time nor motivation to that thing at the moment.

I'm sure people look at me and think the same thing. A lot of people planned on being married with a kid, working part time at this point in their life. Which, by the way, is wonderful, but not what I necessarily thought I would be doing. In fact, it doesn't even play into a lot of my strong points (which is likely why this is the path God has chosen for me and probably why a lot of people probably think they could do a better job).

I thought I'd be more like one of my friends from PT school who led a team of students back to Ethiopia this month and is loved by the Regis faculty and got lots of recognition in PT school for all her hard work. (this person is actually really cool and deserves her credit/recognition) She is kind of what I envisioned myself becoming. A leader. A person who makes a difference. A person who's recognized. A person who is clearly out there changing the world.

I guess I'm slowly changing the world one kindword/therapyappointment/cleansock/dinneronthetable at a time (which in my mind is counteracted by each harshword/forgottennote/dirtylaundrypile/takeoutmeal at a time). It's just hard to see the results in that sometimes. Hard to see what that accomplishes.

Action plan:
1. Confess my pride and ask for a humble heart
2. Look practically at my life and see if there are changes I could make to become more of what I'd like to be, ways to invest in causes I find important
3. Ask God what he'd like me to do
4. Intentionally serve others in some capacity this next week