I was talking to my sister, Stephanie, tonight and I was telling her that I feel like I'm coming out of a haze that I have been in for the past 3 years. I feel like I sacrificed a lot of who I was and what I liked to do and many other things during graduate school. It was necessary for a time, but I feel like I'm coming alive again. I'm spending time with friends, working out, reading, spending time with God more consistently, thinking again- and I'm working at the same time. I did a little of these things in grad school, but everything I did was tainted by the load of schoolwork, classes, and studying. I do feel like I'm just now coming out of the pattern I lived for so long. I'm rejoicing that I can see a little more of the Susan I was before grad school, but there also seems to be a more mature balance to my life- most likely due to things I learned during the past three years. I definitely have so much more to learn about living life consistently, working (for an indefinite amount of time- yikes!), regaining inner motivation, and who I'm supposed to be now (identity). All that to say, I'm thankful for this new phase of life.
The other thought I had while talking with Stephanie is that: my job doesn't wear me out! Yes, I'm a little tired at the end of the day, but I'm not exhausted physically or emotionally. It's actually somewhat energizing on a good day (I'm still working through some perfectionistic, newbie self-criticisms). I'm so blessed. I think it's because I love working with my kiddos, I have really good work hours, and that I have a balance of alone time/people time. Although slow, I can see that I make a difference in my kiddos' lives, as well as helping the teachers that work with them. So, I'm also thankful for the job I have. It's amazing to me to think back to my toiling and indecision a few months ago about what job I should take. Thank you, Jesus, for always being faithful to work out your plan for us perfectly.
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